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The table below gives data on the hour of leisure time per year for people in Someland. v.3

The table below gives data on the hour of leisure time per year for people in Someland. v. 3
The table shows data on the leisure activities of people from different age groups in a year in Someland. Generally speaking, watching TV and videos is the most preferred free time activity for people of all age groups while time spent yearly on other leisure activities vary based on people’s age. According to the table, young and older people spend more leisure time watching TV programmes and other videos than the people from other age groups. TV watching consumes 1200 hours for teenagers and 1100 hours for elder population. This is the most popular leisure-time activity of people as they spend more time on this activity than others. Socialising with more people is popular among teenagers while with the increasing age, people prefer to socialise with fewer people. Teenagers and young adults like group exercise while it is avoided by people who are above 60 years old. People from 30 to 40 seems like spend around 200 hours per years on individual exercises. Finally, watching movies in a cinema hall comprises 100 leisure hours for teenagers while it kept on decreasing with the increase of their age except for the 70 plus population who spend more time on this activity than 20 to 70 years old people.
The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
data on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
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activities
of
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people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
in a
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year
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
.
Generally
speaking, watching TV and videos is the most preferred free
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time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent yearly on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
vary based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
age.

According to the table, young and older
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people
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spend
more
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leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and
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other
videos than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. TV watching consumes 1200
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hours
for
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teenagers
and 1100
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hours
for elder population. This is the most popular leisure-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they
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spend
more
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time
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
than others.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Socialising' is British English.
Socialising
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
while with the increasing
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age
,
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people
prefer to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with fewer
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people
.
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Teenagers
and young adults like
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group
exercise while it
is avoided
by
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people
who are above 60 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
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People
from 30 to 40 seems like
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spend
around 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per years on individual exercises.

Finally
, watching movies in a cinema hall comprises 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
while it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on decreasing with the increase of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the 70 plus population who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
than 20 to 70 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below gives data on the hour of leisure time per year for people in Someland. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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