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The table below gives data on the hour of leisure time per year for people in Someland. v.1

The table below gives data on the hour of leisure time per year for people in Someland. v. 1
The data presented in the table outlines how much leisure time people from different age groups spend yearly in Someland. It is obvious that watching TV is a popular form of free-time activity for Somelanders. According to the figures, watching TV is a common recreation among people in Someland, teenagers and elder people watch TV even more. They spend over a thousand hours per year to watch different TV programmes while it ranges from 400 to 700 hours among others. Young people have more friends to socialize while this number decreases when they grow up. Teens spend as much as 350 hours socializing with 4 or more friends while it is only 25 to 50 hours for adults and elders. On the contrary, people in their thirties spend the highest time socializing with fewer people. Individual exercise is preferred by people in their 30s and 40s while group exercise is more popular among teenagers. Elder people mostly refrain from doing exercises in their free time. Watching cinema is not a common leisure activity among  Somelanders and teenagers spend 100 hours doing so which is higher than time spent in this pursuit by citizens of other ages.
The data presented in the table outlines how much leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups
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spend
yearly in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
. It is obvious that watching TV is a popular form of free-time activity for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Somelanders
.

According to the figures, watching TV is a common recreation among
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people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV even more. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
over a thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per year to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
while it ranges from 400 to 700
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
among others. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more friends to socialize while this number decreases when they grow up. Teens
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spend
as much as 350
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hours
socializing with 4 or more friends while it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
25 to 50
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hours
for adults and elders.
On the contrary
,
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people
in their thirties
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spend
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
socializing with fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Individual exercise
is preferred
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their 30s and 40s while group exercise is more popular among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. Elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
refrain from doing exercises in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Watching cinema is not a common leisure activity among
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Possible spelling mistake found.
Somelanders
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
which is higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent in this pursuit by citizens of other ages.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below gives data on the hour of leisure time per year for people in Someland. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
196 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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