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The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they receive from employers. v.2

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they receive from employers. v. 2
The bar chart delineates the ratio of pupils who continue their education for the benefit of their career and from passion based on their age groups. The line graph reveals the ratio of support those students get from their companies as a form of financial support and time off. Overall, young students’ main focus for education is their job while it is mostly passion when they grow older. To illustrate, eight of ten people under 26 years old continue education for their career. Only 10% of them do it from passion. Interestingly, the higher the age, the more eager they become to study for personal interest, not for professional reasons. Seven out of ten people who are at least 50 years old study for interest. Finally, these two factors equally motivate people from 40-49 years old to further their learning. The second diagram shows that young employees who are less than 30 years old get more backing from their employers while the least support is expected for workers between 30 to 39 years old. However, it is interesting to notice that employers are more sympathetic to workers over 40 years old than they are to employees in their thirties.
The bar chart delineates the ratio of pupils who continue their education for the benefit of their career and from passion based on their age groups. The line graph reveals the ratio of support those students
get
from their
companies
as a form of financial support and time off.
Overall
, young students’ main focus for education is their job while it is
mostly
passion when they grow older.

To illustrate, eight of ten
people
under 26 years
old
continue education for their career.
Only
10% of them do it from passion.
Interestingly
, the higher the age, the more eager they become to study for personal interest, not for professional reasons. Seven out of ten
people
who are at least 50 years
old
study for interest.
Finally
, these two factors
equally
motivate
people
from 40-49 years
old
to
further
their learning.

The second diagram
shows
that young employees who are less than 30 years
old
get
more backing from their employers while the least support is
expected
for workers
between 30 to 39
years
old
.
However
, it is interesting to notice that employers are more sympathetic to workers over 40 years
old
than they are to employees in their thirties.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS academic The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they receive from employers. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
199 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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