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The table below give information on the proporion of carbohydrates, protein, and fat in three different diets. v.2

The table below give information on the proporion of carbohydrates, protein, and fat in three different diets. v. 2
The pie charts given below illustrate on the comparison of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets. In general, carbohydrates is higher proportion in three different diets while the second enrolments is protein. To begin, from carbohydrates amount up to 60% of the healthy diet for sports. This is 10% lowest than the proportion of carbohydrates in a normal healthy diet and 20% more than in average diet. While people who eat an average diet consume at healthy diet just 30% and diet for sports is 25%. On the other hand, the compound shown in the charts is fat. Fat relative exactly make higher of both the average diet and the healthy diet (20%), but the one fifth to only 15% for the healthy sports diet.
The pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
below illustrate on the comparison of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrates
, protein and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diets.

In general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrates
is higher proportion in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diets while the second
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
is protein.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, from
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carbohydrates
amount up to 60% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet for sports. This is 10%
Use "lower" to make a comparison with this adjective.
lowest
than the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrates
in a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and 20% more than in average diet. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who eat an average diet consume at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
30% and diet for sports is 25%.

On the other hand
, the compound shown in the charts is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Fat
relative exactly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
higher of both the average diet and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet (20%),
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the one fifth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
sports diet.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below give information on the proporion of carbohydrates, protein, and fat in three different diets. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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