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The table below describes the proportion of smokers in males and females (between the age of 15 and 20) in Britain. v.2

The table below describes the proportion of smokers in males and females (between the age of 15 and 20) in Britain. v. 2
The table illustrates the percentage of men and women who smoked during 30 years from 1970 to 2000 in the United Kingdom. As can be seen from the table, the figure for male and female smokers increased much and there were more men than women during the period surveyed. In 1970, the proportion of men who smoked was 2 times as much as that of women, at 10% and 5% respectively. The figure for male smokers rose steadily and hit the greatest peak at 37% in 1985. Then, it saw a slight decline during the last decade, from 36% in 1990 to 28% in 2000. The number of female& nbsp; smokers was at the lowest in 1970, then it grew significantly to the highest point at 37%, which was 1% higher than that of male smokers in 1990. In 1995, the gap between 2 sexual groups continued to increase 1% despite the 5% decrease of the former, at 34%. However, the proportion of female smokers was slightly 1% lower than that of its counterparts, at 27%.
The table illustrates the percentage of
men
and women who smoked during 30 years from 1970 to 2000 in the United Kingdom. As can be
seen
from the table, the figure for male and female smokers increased much and there were more
men
than women during the period surveyed.

In 1970, the proportion of
men
who smoked was 2 times as much as that of women, at 10% and 5%
respectively
. The figure for male smokers rose
steadily
and hit the greatest peak at 37% in 1985. Then, it
saw
a slight decline during the last decade, from 36% in 1990 to 28% in 2000.

The number of
female&amp
;
nbsp
; smokers was at the lowest in 1970, then it grew
significantly
to the highest point at 37%, which was 1% higher than that of male smokers in 1990. In 1995, the gap between 2 sexual groups continued to increase 1% despite the 5% decrease of the former, at 34%.
However
, the proportion of female smokers was
slightly
1% lower than that of its counterparts, at 27%.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below describes the proportion of smokers in males and females (between the age of 15 and 20) in Britain. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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