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The line graph below shows how much money was spent on cars in four different countries in Asia. v.2

The line graph below shows how much money was spent on cars in four different countries in Asia. v. 2
The line graph compares the expenditure on cars in China, Vietnam, Thailand and Indonesia between 1995 and 2005. Units are measured in millions of US dollars. Overall, the amount of money spent on cars in four Asian countries increased dramatically. It is also noticeable that China spent the most over the period given, while Indonesia spent the least from 1995 to 2001 and was replaced by Thailand in the following years. China' s spending was by far the highest which began in 1995 at around $80 million then fluctuated in the following years before increasing to peak at just under $ 100 million in 2005. The second highest spender was Vietnam which spending started at approximately $50 million after which the figure grew steadily to hit a high of about $75 million in 2005. The amount of money spent on cars in Thailand hovered between around $50 million to just below $ 60 million from 1995 to 2003 but grew slightly to just over $60 million in 2005, which was the smallest spending. Indonesian' s spent the least in 1995 at $ 30 million then subsequently rose to hit a high of just above $70 million in 2005.
The line graph compares the expenditure on cars in China, Vietnam, Thailand and Indonesia between 1995 and 2005. Units
are measured
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of US dollars.

Overall
, the amount of money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on cars in four Asian countries increased
dramatically
. It is
also
noticeable that China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the most over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, while Indonesia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the least from 1995 to 2001 and
was replaced
by Thailand in the following years.

Possible spelling mistake found.
China&
#039; s spending was by far the highest which began in 1995 at around $80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
then fluctuated in the following years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
increasing to peak at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$100".
$ 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2005. The second highest spender was Vietnam which spending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at approximately $50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
after which the figure grew
steadily
to hit a high of about $75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2005.

The amount of money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on cars in Thailand hovered between around $50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$60".
$ 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
from 1995 to 2003
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
grew
slightly
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over $60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2005, which was the smallest spending.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Indonesian&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the least in 1995 at
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$30".
$ 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
then
subsequently
rose to hit a high of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above $70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2005.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS academic The line graph below shows how much money was spent on cars in four different countries in Asia. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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