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The table below describes percentages of homeschooled students in Some Country in 1999-2004. v.4

The table below describes percentages of homeschooled students in Some Country in 1999-2004. v. 4
The table represents the proportion of students who take a home schooling in some country from 1999 to 2004. Overall, students conducting home schooling increased in all levels. It is apparent that, kindergarten students had the highest number of students throughout whole periods while grade 5-6 students increased its popularity over the period. From 1999 to 2001, the highest number of students doing home schooling was kindergarten of 2. 4 to 2. 6. Along with this, grade 3-4 students had the steady incremental trends from 1. 6 to 1. 8 in the same period whereas grade 1-2 and grade 5-6 showed the declining trend as both dropped from 1. 5 to 1. 3 from 1999 to 2001. Meanwhile, grade 7-8 students had remained unchanged in its students’ number at 1. 6. After 2001, there was a drastic incremental trend for grade 7-8 where it rose by 0. 6 students and continued to increase to end at 2. 5 students by 2004. Similarly grade 5-6 students gained its popularity to had 1. 6 students in 2001 and ended at 2. 5 students. Apart from this, the rest of grades had experienced the constant rise; kindergarten reached at 2. 9 students, grade 1-2 and 3-4 had 2. 1 and 2. 2 students respectively.
The table represents the proportion of
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students
who take a
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
country from 1999 to 2004.

Overall
,
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students
conducting
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
increased in all levels. It is apparent that, kindergarten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
throughout whole periods while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
5-6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
increased its popularity over the period.

From 1999 to 2001, the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
doing
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
was kindergarten of 2. 4 to 2. 6. Along with this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
3-4
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students
had the steady incremental trends from 1. 6 to 1. 8 in the same period whereas
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grade
1-2 and
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grade
5-6
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the declining trend as both dropped from 1. 5 to 1. 3 from 1999 to 2001. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
7-8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had remained unchanged in its
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students’
number at 1. 6.

After 2001, there was a drastic incremental trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
7-8 where it rose by 0. 6
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students
and continued to increase to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
at 2. 5
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students
by 2004.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
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grade
5-6
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students
gained its popularity to had 1. 6
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students
in 2001 and ended at 2. 5
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students
. Apart from this, the rest of
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grades
had experienced the constant rise; kindergarten reached at 2. 9
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students
,
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grade
1-2 and 3-4 had 2. 1 and 2. 2
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students
respectively
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below describes percentages of homeschooled students in Some Country in 1999-2004. v. 4

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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