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The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.5

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.
This pie chart illustrates the expenses and different resources of income of a children' s charity in USA in one year of duration. In this duration of time the total amount of money received from 6 different sources is $53. 5 million and the amount of money spent in 3 different ways $53. 2 million. Among 6 different types of donation sources, donation of food by different people comprises about 86% of the total money as large number of people donate food for the children, whereas 10% of money is received from people of different communities. So these two sources has a great contribution in the income of children’s charity. The remaining few percentage of money is received from different program revenues, the income from their investments, Government Grants and other income resources. On the other hand, large amount of money were spent on various program services which is about 95. 8% of the total expenses, these include curricular and extra curricular activities. Various types of activities were carried out in different functions for fundraising which costs 2. 6% of the total expenses. Remaining 1. 6% were used in the management and other general activities of the charity.
This pie chart illustrates the expenses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
resources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s charity
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
in one year of duration. In this duration of time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
received from 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
sources is $53. 5 million and the amount of
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money
spent in 3
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different
ways $53. 2 million.

Among 6
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different
types of donation sources, donation of food by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
comprises
about 86% of the
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
donate food for the children, whereas 10% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is received
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
communities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these two sources has a great contribution in the
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income
of children’s charity. The remaining
Possible agreement error. The noun percentage seems to be countable; consider using: "few percentages".
few percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is received
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
program revenues, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
from their investments,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
Grants and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
resources.

On the other hand
, large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
were spent
on various program services which is about 95. 8% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
expenses, these include curricular and
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities. Various types of activities
were carried
out in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
functions for fundraising which costs 2. 6% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
expenses. Remaining 1. 6% were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the management and other general activities of the charity.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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