Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The proportion of money spent on various household expenses in Malaysia and Japan is shown in the pie chart v.2

The proportion of money spent on various household expenses in Malaysia and Japan is shown in the pie chart v. 2
The proportion of money spent on various household expenses in Malaysia and Japan is shown in the pie chart. It is evident that the highest expenditure in Malaysia was housing while other goods and services were the highest in Japan, and the health care expense became the least in both countries. In Malaysia, housing cost reached 34% of total expenditure which is the highest, while in Japan the housing stood at the second place with 21%, inferior to other goods and services. The money spending for food is fairly similar in both countries, approximately 25%. Moreover, the Japanese spent more money for transportation with 20%, doubled the figure of transporting expense in Malaysia. Japan’s health care expenditure was 6% which was the least cost recorded. This contrasted to Malaysia which spent a half of Japan’s figure for their health necessity.
The proportion of money spent on various household expenses in Malaysia and
Japan
is shown
in the pie chart. It is evident that the highest expenditure in Malaysia was housing while other
goods
and services were the highest in
Japan
, and the health care expense became the least in both countries.

In Malaysia, housing cost reached 34% of total expenditure which is the highest, while in
Japan
the housing stood at the second place with 21%, inferior to other
goods
and services. The money spending for food is
fairly
similar in both countries, approximately 25%.

Moreover
, the Japanese spent more money for transportation with 20%, doubled the figure of transporting expense in Malaysia.
Japan’s
health care expenditure was 6% which was the least cost recorded. This contrasted to Malaysia which spent a half of
Japan’s
figure for their health necessity.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The proportion of money spent on various household expenses in Malaysia and Japan is shown in the pie chart v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts