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The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015 v.5

The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015 v. 5
The given bar graph gives information about exporting five types of products between 2015 and 2016. While the table illustrates the proportion of change in values for every type of exports compared to 2015. In general, the initial impression from graph is the export earnings for petroleum products increased comparing with 2015. In contrast, the export earnings for gems and jewellery declined if compared with 2015. In addition, the change rate in values went up except for gems and jewellery between two given years. The value for petroleum products was a little above 60 million dollars then grew up slightly to around 65 $ million. For engineered goods, the value increased by 5 million dollars between 2015 and 2016. While the pattern changed for gems and jewellery, it went down to 40 million from 44 million between 2015 and 2016. Turning to table, it can be seen that the change per cent went up 3%. Whilst the gems and jewellery decreased by 5. 18%. the highest changing rate happened in textiles products, it increased by 15. 24%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph gives information about exporting five types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
between 2015 and 2016. While the table illustrates the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in values for every type of exports compared to 2015.

In general
, the initial impression from graph is the export earnings for petroleum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
increased comparing with 2015.
In contrast
, the export earnings for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gems
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
declined if compared with 2015.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
rate in values went up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gems
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
between two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.

The
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value
for petroleum
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products
was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
above 60
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million
dollars then grew up
slightly
to around
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$65".
65 $
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
. For engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, the
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value
increased by 5
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million
dollars between 2015 and 2016. While the pattern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gems
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
, it went down to 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
from 44
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
between 2015 and 2016. Turning to table, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
per cent went up 3%. Whilst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gems
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
decreased by 5. 18%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
highest changing rate happened in textiles
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products
, it increased by 15. 24%.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015 v. 5

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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