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The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens. v.1

The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens. v. 1
The pie charts compare how Americans spent on different commodities in 1996 with that of 1966. The expenses are given as percentages and it is obvious that cars consumed the highest percentages of American citizens’ expenditure in 1996 while it was food that required the highest ratio of money in 1966. According to the illustration, four-tenths of Americans’ expenses went on food in 1966 and they spend almost one-fourth on cars. The lowest spending Americans made was for computers which was merely 1%. Expenses by them in 1966 on furniture and petrol was roughly one-tenth each and their budget for books and restaurant meals were 6 and 7 percentages respectively. After three decades, the expenditure pattern by Americans on those goods changed noticeably.   They spent 45% on cars, which constituted their highest ratio of spending on a consumer product and spending on food preparation dropped by 30%. It is interesting to note that the spending on books reduced to barely 1% while this figure went up to 10% for computers. They spend exactly double for outside meals than they did in 1966 and their cost for petrol dropped by 1% despite a hike in spending on automobiles. Finally, Americans share of spending for purchasing furniture reduced by 2% in 1996 than that of 1966.
The pie charts compare how Americans spent on
different
commodities in 1996 with that of 1966. The expenses are
given
as percentages and it is obvious that cars consumed the highest percentages of American citizens’ expenditure in 1996 while it was food that required the highest ratio of money in 1966.

According to the illustration, four-tenths of Americans’ expenses went on food in
1966 and
they spend almost one-fourth on cars. The lowest
spending
Americans made was for computers which was
merely
1%. Expenses by them in 1966 on furniture and petrol was roughly one-tenth each and their budget for books and restaurant meals were 6 and 7 percentages
respectively
.

After three decades, the expenditure pattern by Americans on those
goods
changed
noticeably
.
 
They spent 45% on cars, which constituted their highest ratio of
spending
on a consumer product and
spending
on food preparation dropped by 30%. It is interesting to note that the
spending
on books
reduced
to
barely
1% while this figure went up to 10% for computers. They spend exactly double for outside meals than they did in 1966 and their cost for petrol dropped by 1% despite a hike in
spending
on automobiles.
Finally
, Americans share of
spending
for purchasing furniture
reduced
by 2% in 1996 than that of 1966.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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