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The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters traveling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030. v.2

The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters traveling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030. v. 2
The line chart illustrates the average numbers of British passengers who travel every day by automobile, bus, or train between the years 1970 and 2030. Measured in million In general, it can be observed that the using of cars and train increase along the given period, while the users of bus declines at the end of the period. Beginning with cars, it can be seen that, 5 million English passengers used cars for 10 years (1970-1980) to move between areas. In 2000 the number rose significantly to approximately 7 million. Then remain stable until 2010. The expectation for the number of commuters will be increased to around 8 million and 9 million in 2020, and 2030 respectively. Moving to use of train, the number of commuters was around 2 million in 1970, then increased gradually to 3 million in 2000. The number remained the same until 2010. While the prediction of traveled passengers by train will jump rapidly to 5 million, which is less than using cars. Finally, it can be witnessed, more people using the bus in their transportation in 1970, around 4 million, whereas the number will be decreased slowly to 3 million in 2030, which the lowest mean transportation in 2030 by UK passengers.
The line chart illustrates the average
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numbers
of British
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passengers
who travel every day by automobile, bus, or
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train
between the years 1970 and 2030. Measured in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million


In general
, it can
be observed
that the using of cars and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
increase along the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period, while the users of bus declines at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Beginning with cars, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
cars for 10 years (1970-1980) to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
between areas. In 2000 the
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number
rose
significantly
to approximately 7
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million
. Then remain stable until 2010. The expectation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of commuters will
be increased
to around 8
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million
and 9
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million
in 2020, and 2030
respectively
.

Moving to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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train
, the
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number
of commuters was around 2
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million
in 1970, then increased
gradually
to 3
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million
in 2000. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
remained the same until 2010. While the prediction of traveled
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passengers
by
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train
will jump
rapidly
to 5
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million
, which is less than using cars.

Finally
, it can
be witnessed
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using the bus in their transportation in 1970, around 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
will
be decreased
slowly
to 3
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million
in 2030, which the lowest mean transportation in 2030 by UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters traveling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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