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The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens. v.3

The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens. v. 3
The pie charts show changes in American spending patterns between 1966 and 1996. Generally speaking, Americans spent the highest proportion of their money on food and car in 1996 and after three decades, cars comprised their highest costs. Food and cars made up the two biggest items of expenditure in both years. Together they comprised over half of household spending. Food accounted for 44% of spending in 1966, but this dropped by two-thirds to 14% in 1996. However, the outlay on cars doubled, rising from 23% in 1966 to 45% in 1996. Other areas changed significantly. Spending on eating out doubled, climbing from 7% to 14%. The proportion of salary spent on computers increased dramatically, up from 1% in 1996 to 10% in 1996. However, as computer expenditure rose, the percentage of outlay on books plunged from 6% to 1%. Some areas remained relatively unchanged. Americans spent approximately the same amount of salary on petrol and furniture in both years. In conclusion, increased amounts spent on cars, computers, and eating out were made up for by drops in expenditure on food and books.
The pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in American
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spending
patterns between 1966 and 1996.
Generally
speaking, Americans
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spent
the highest proportion of their money on food and
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car
in 1996 and after three decades,
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cars
comprised their highest costs.

Food and
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cars
made up the two biggest items of expenditure in both years. Together they comprised over half of household
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spending
. Food accounted for 44% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
in 1966,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this dropped by two-thirds to 14% in 1996.
However
, the outlay on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
doubled, rising from 23% in 1966 to 45% in 1996. Other areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
significantly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
on eating out doubled, climbing from 7% to 14%. The proportion of salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on computers increased
dramatically
, up from 1% in 1996 to 10% in 1996.
However
, as computer expenditure rose, the percentage of outlay on books plunged from 6% to 1%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
areas remained
relatively
unchanged. Americans
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spent
approximately the same amount of salary on petrol and furniture in both years.

In conclusion
, increased amounts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, computers, and eating out
were made
up for by drops in expenditure on food and books.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
183 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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