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The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens. v.4

The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens. v. 4
The two provided pie charts compare the expenditure of Americans in 7 different categories namely food, cars, petrol, restaurants, furniture, computers, and book between 1966 and 1996. It is evident from the information provided that foods and cars made up the biggest proportions of spending among Americans in both years. Specifically, in 1966, the highest proportion of expenses went to food with 44% of the total expense, followed by cars with 23%. After 30 years, this figure observed a reversal when the spending for cars accounted for a massive 45% while that for food dropped to just 14%. Turning to the other expenses, petrol and furniture stood for roughly equal proportions of money spent with 9% and 10% respectively in 1966 and both 8% in 1996. The expenditure for restaurant experienced an increase of 7% in 1966 and a double to 14% after 30 years. It is also interesting to note that the spending on books and computers changed conversely. Over the 30-year period, the figure for books declined from 6% to a negligible 1%, in contrast, money spent on computers underwent a remarkable growth from 1% to 10%. In short, Americans spent most of their money on food and cars in both 1966 and 1996, and the spending for computers increased considerably after 30 years.
The two provided pie charts compare the expenditure of Americans in 7
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, petrol, restaurants, furniture, computers, and book between 1966 and 1996.

It is evident from the information provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
made up the biggest proportions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
among Americans in both years.
Specifically
, in 1966, the highest proportion of expenses went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with 44% of the total expense, followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
with 23%. After 30 years, this figure observed a reversal when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
accounted for a massive 45% while that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
dropped to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
14%.

Turning to the other expenses, petrol and furniture stood for roughly equal proportions of money spent with 9% and 10%
respectively
in 1966 and both 8% in 1996. The expenditure for restaurant experienced an increase of 7% in 1966 and a double to 14% after 30 years. It is
also
interesting to note that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on books and computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
conversely
. Over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
30-year
period, the figure for books declined from 6% to a negligible 1%,
in contrast
, money spent on computers underwent a remarkable growth from 1% to 10%.

In short, Americans spent most of their money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in both 1966 and 1996, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
for computers increased
considerably
after 30 years.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens. v. 4

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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