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the pie graph below shows how electricity is produced in ireland and the table shows the primary reasons for using electricity in the same country v.1

the pie graph below shows how electricity is produced in ireland and the table shows the primary reasons for using electricity in the same country v. 1
The charts given describe the amount of electricity which generated by various resources in irlandia, and the percentage of electricity which is used for applicants by irish. It is evident that the highest source is from the coal, and Irish people spend a lot of energies for heating applicant. Looking more closely, the coal have the biggest amount for producing electricity as much more than two fifths, it is followed by the figure of natural gas which have lower 10% from the highest number. Wind and solar are the minority of this category, which only have one in ten respectively. Moving to the data of applicants which use the energy of electricity in irlandia. Most of the houses in there are using electricity for heating their house at 55%, and also it is used by enlightenment arround lower 2 times than heating. Consumer electronics and phone charging consume 10% electricity for both of them, whereas kitchen divices have higher 3 times than them.
The charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
which generated by various resources in
Possible spelling mistake found.
irlandia
, and the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for applicants by
Possible spelling mistake found.
irish
. It is evident that the highest source is from the coal, and Irish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
energies for heating applicant.

Looking more
closely
, the coal have the biggest amount for producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
as much more than two fifths, it
is followed
by the figure of natural gas which have lower 10% from the highest number. Wind and solar are the minority of this category, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have one in ten
respectively
.

Moving to the data of applicants which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the energy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
irlandia
. Most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in there are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
for heating their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
at 55%, and
also
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by enlightenment
Possible spelling mistake found.
arround
lower 2 times than heating. Consumer electronics and phone charging consume 10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
for both of them, whereas kitchen
Possible spelling mistake found.
divices
have higher 3 times than them.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS academic the pie graph below shows how electricity is produced in ireland and the table shows the primary reasons for using electricity in the same country v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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