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The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. v.3

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. v. 3
The given line graph illustrates the demands for electricity during normal days of summer and winter in England, while the pie chart describes how an average household consumes electricity in England. The line graph exhibits that electricity demand in winter is significantly higher than that in summer. Besides, the pie chart shows that more than half of the electricity is consumed for the purpose of heating rooms and water. The given illustration shows that in winter, electricity demand in England rise up to almost 48, 000 units and drops to nearly 30, 000 units. It is generally observed that the demand increases after the evening time. While in summer, the electricity demand rises up to 20, 000 units in the noon time and drops to almost 12, 000 in the early morning. The given pie chart demonstrates that more than half of the electricity is utilised for the purpose of heating rooms and water which is 52%. The second major proportion of electricity, 18%, is utilised for using ovens, kettles and washing machines. Lighting, TV and radio utilise 15% electricity while the remaining 15% goes for the vacuum cleaner, food mixers, and electric tools.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
during normal days of summer and winter in England, while the pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
how an average household consumes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in England.

The line graph exhibits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
in winter is
significantly
higher than that in summer.
Besides
, the pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that more than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
is consumed
for the purpose of heating rooms and water.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in winter,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
in England rise up to almost 48, 000 units and drops to
nearly
30, 000 units. It is
generally
observed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
increases after the evening time. While in summer, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
rises up to 20, 000 units in the noon time and drops to almost 12, 000 in the early morning.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart demonstrates that more than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for the purpose of heating rooms and water which is 52%. The second major proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, 18%, is
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for using ovens, kettles and washing machines. Lighting, TV and radio
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
while the remaining 15% goes for the vacuum cleaner, food mixers, and electric tools.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. v. 3

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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