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the pie charts shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and reveived in one year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words v.2

the pie charts shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and reveived in one year.
The pie charts illustrated the proportion of money that a charitable organization for children in the US spent and received during one-year period. Overall, the total revenue that the organization got from several categories was higher than the total their expenditure. The main category that the charity received from was donated food. Meanwhile, they expensed the most on program services. In details, donated food accounted for 86. 6% of revenue sources. While the money that the charity got from community contributed to 10. 4%, the proportion of program revenue was 2. 2%. And in three remaining categories, there were small proportions. In which, the charity received a equal percentage from investment income and government grants, at only 0. 2%. Finally, other income had 0. 4% of total money they got. With the charity' s expenditure, the proportion of program services was 95, 8%. In contrast, they just spent a small amount of money on program increasing their fund and management and general, at 2. 6% and 16%, respectively.
The pie charts illustrated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that a charitable organization for children in the US spent and received during one-year period.

Overall
, the total revenue that the organization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from several categories was higher than the total their expenditure. The main category that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
received from
was donated
food. Meanwhile, they expensed the most on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
services.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, donated food accounted for 86. 6% of revenue sources.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from community contributed to 10. 4%, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
revenue was 2. 2%. And in three remaining categories, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportions. In which, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
received
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
equal percentage from investment income and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
grants, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0. 2%.
Finally
, other income had 0. 4% of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
.

With the
Possible spelling mistake found.
charity&
#039; s expenditure, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
services was 95, 8%.
In contrast
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
spent a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
increasing their fund and management and general, at 2. 6% and 16%,
respectively
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic the pie charts shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and reveived in one year.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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