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The pie chart shows the main reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. v.2

The pie chart shows the main reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007.
The chart demonstrates the major reasons of immigration and emigration in UK in2007. Overall, it is evident that migration for career was the most important reason. 30% of immgration in UK in 2007 were for employment, and the figure for this reason of emigration was similar, which was 29%. The second reason that made people come out of UK was to looking for a job, which accounted for 22% but the percentage of people who came in UK for that reason was only 12%. More than one forth of the people coming to UK for study while only 4% of people leaving UK to study. The number of people came in and out from the UK to join a new family was quite equal, which were 15% and 13% respectively. Nearly one fifth of people leaving UK for no reason but the number of people who immigrated in UK and did not state the reason was a small number (6%). Other reasons accounted for 14% of people emigrated in UK in 2007 and the same figure was seen in the number of immigrated people.
The chart demonstrates the major
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reasons
of immigration and emigration in UK in2007.

Overall
, it is evident that migration for career was the most
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important
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reason. 30%
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
immgration
in UK in 2007 were for employment, and the figure for this
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reason
of emigration was similar, which was 29%. The second
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reason
that made
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of UK was
The word 'to' seems to be wrong here. "looking" is a present participle verb.
to looking
for a job, which accounted for 22%
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but
the percentage of
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people
who came in UK for that
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reason
was
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only
12%. More than one forth of the
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people
coming to UK for study while
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only
4% of
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people
leaving UK to study.

The
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number
of
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people
came in and out from the UK to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a new family was quite equal, which were 15% and 13%
respectively
.
Nearly
one fifth of
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people
leaving UK for no
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reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
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number
of
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people
who immigrated in UK and did not state the
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reason
was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
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number
(6%). Other
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reasons
accounted for 14% of
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people
emigrated in UK in 2007 and the same figure was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
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number
of immigrated
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people
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS academic The pie chart shows the main reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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