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The diagram below shows how salt is removed from sea water to make it drinkable. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The diagram below shows how salt is removed from sea water to make it drinkable.
The diagram explains the way in which sea water is processed to be potable and unadulterated. Overall, there are several different stages which are filtration, purification, storage and distribution. As shown in the illustration, pumped sea water is transferred to the pre-treatment filter system via saltwater intake to separates debris such as garbage, marine life and rocks from the water. Once the waste is removed, its then sent back to the sea as backwash while the remaining water is proceeded to the next filter. Subsequently, the water is forced through membrane at high pressure which allow water molecules to pass through while impurities and salt are blocked and returned to the sea as seawater concentrate. Afterwards, fully filtered freshwater is post-treated with lime, chloride and fluoride in order to kill any contaminant, making it safe to be consumed. Finally, they are moved to the city storage and ready for public consumption.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the way in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is processed
to be potable and unadulterated.
Overall
, there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages which are filtration, purification, storage and distribution.

As shown in the illustration, pumped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is transferred
to the pre-treatment filter system via saltwater intake to separates debris such as garbage, marine life and rocks from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Once the waste
is removed
, its then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
as backwash while the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is proceeded
to the
next
filter.
Subsequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is forced
through membrane at high pressure which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
molecules to pass through while impurities and salt
are blocked
and returned to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
as seawater concentrate.

Afterwards,
fully
filtered freshwater is post-treated with lime, chloride and fluoride in order to kill any contaminant, making it safe to
be consumed
.
Finally
, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the city storage and ready for public consumption.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The diagram below shows how salt is removed from sea water to make it drinkable.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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