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The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. v.2

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.
The pie charts represents the expenditure by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000. In all the three years the maximum amount has been spent on Higher education. In 1980 nearly one third of the total was spent on higher education. In 1990, it increased about 10% and in 2000 it gradually decreased by 5%. There are three other major sectors namely k-12 education, transportation and human resources. All together they made up to half of the total expenditure. K-12 represented to 25% in 1980 which later on dropped 20% in 1990 and even lower in 2000. Transportation had a lot of variation in the past years and holds around 20% in 2000 which is the maximum in the particular section. Health and human resources tend to decrease when there is raise transport expenditure. The rest of the sales in covered by Environmental services and other expenditures. Higher education had lead to the maximum expenditure and it also seems to drop in the 20th century and further. The rest of the sectors are oscillating in various years. 170 Words.
The pie charts represents the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
by local authorities in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
in 1980, 1990 and 2000.

In all the three years the maximum amount has
been spent
on Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In 1980
nearly
one third of the total
was spent
on higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
1990, it increased about 10% and in 2000 it
gradually
decreased by 5%. There are three other major sectors
namely
k-12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, transportation and human resources.

All together they made up to half of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
. K-12 represented to 25% in 1980 which later on dropped 20% in 1990 and even lower in 2000. Transportation had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
variation in the past years and holds around 20% in 2000 which is the maximum in the particular section. Health and human resources tend to decrease when there is raise transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
. The rest of the sales in covered by Environmental services and other expenditures.

Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
had lead to the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
and it
also
seems to drop in the 20th century and
further
. The rest of the sectors are oscillating in various years.

170 Words.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS academic The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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