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The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years v.2

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years v. 2
The mentioned two pie charts illustrate the proportion of various kinds of energy generation of France in two different years 1995 and 2005. Overall, it is clear from the charts that there is a great proportion of coal used for energy production in both the years. In contrast, there is relatively less proportion of other sources of energy in both the years. In the year 1995, coal accounted for 29. 80% of the total energy generated which is expected to increase slightly by 1. 13% in 2005. Even though, other source of energy in 1995 accounted for 4. 90% whereas it increases steadily up to 9. 10% by the year 2005. In 2005, both gas as well as petro had a figure of approximately 29% each and it is expected that the former will rise by 0. 68% in 2005 while a drop of 9. 72% is estimated for the latter. In addition to this Nuclear energy is expected to increase by 3. 7% in 2005 from a count of 6. 40% in 1995.
The mentioned two pie charts illustrate the proportion of various kinds of
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energy
generation of France in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years 1995 and 2005.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the charts that there is a great proportion of coal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
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energy
production in both the years.
In contrast
, there is
relatively
less proportion of other sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in both the years.

In the
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year
1995, coal accounted for 29. 80% of the total
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energy
generated which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to increase
slightly
by 1. 13% in 2005.
Even though
, other source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in 1995 accounted for 4. 90% whereas it increases
steadily
up to 9. 10% by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005.

In 2005, both gas
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
Possible spelling mistake found.
petro
had a figure of approximately 29% each and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that the former will rise by 0. 68% in 2005 while a drop of 9. 72%
is estimated
for the latter.
In addition
to this Nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to increase by 3. 7% in 2005 from a count of 6. 40% in 1995.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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