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The chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries. v.1

The chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries. v. 1
The bar chart depicts the shortcomings faced by individuals when they migrate to one place from another. The spectacular feature of the chart is problems faced by adults in learning the regional language. At a fleeting glance, it is clearly observed that a bit less than 50% people belonged to 18-34 age group faced difficulties in doing friendships while a one-third proportion of individuals adults and almost a quarter of old aged people faced this issue. However, youngsters as well as adults encountered trouble almost equal in finding places to live whereas four-fifth populace of upper adults class had a home to live. It is interesting to note that on an average only three out of ten youngsters experienced a complication in learning the target language. On the flip side, 35% adults messed up in communication problems. To sum up, Although adults faced difficulties in almost every field but old aged individuals suffer only linguistic problems and youngsters worried about friendships more.
The bar chart depicts the shortcomings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faced
by individuals when they migrate to one place from another. The spectacular feature of the chart is problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
in learning the regional language.

At a fleeting glance, it is
clearly
observed that a bit less than 50%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
belonged to 18-34 age group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faced
difficulties in doing friendships while a one-third proportion of individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
and almost a quarter of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faced
this issue.
However
, youngsters
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
encountered trouble almost equal in finding places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
whereas four-fifth populace of upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
had a home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

It is interesting to note that on an average
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three out of ten youngsters experienced a complication in learning the target language. On the flip side, 35%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
messed up in communication problems.

To sum up, Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faced
difficulties in almost every field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
aged individuals suffer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
linguistic problems and youngsters worried about friendships more.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS academic The chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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