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The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010. v.4

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010. v. 4
The two pie charts compare the household outlay in a country by major categories in 1950 and 2010. Overall, in both years, significant expenditure went on for accommodation and food which together covered the most of the expenditure. However, in 2010, spending ratio escalated for the food while decreased for the housing. In 1950, nearly two-thirds of the expenditure of people went on for the accommodation and more than 11% on food. The expenditure on housing plummeted in 2010, 72. 1% to 22. 0% while it almost trebled in the case of the food. Healthcare expenditure ratio, on the contrary, was the lowest, only 2. 4%, and it increased by almost 2% in 2010. Similarly, the outlay on transportation was elevated in 2010 by nearly 10%. The cost ratio for education was 6. 6% in 1950 which slightly decreased after six decades. Other categories attributed to only around 4% expenditure and it roughly quintuple during the period. In summary, the housing drained the highest percentages of money for the people in this country in 1950 and after 60 years it reduced while the ratio of expense on foods increased remarkably.
The two pie charts compare the household outlay in a country by major categories in 1950 and 2010.
Overall
, in both years, significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
went on for accommodation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which together covered the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
.
However
, in 2010, spending
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ratio
escalated for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
while decreased for the housing.

In 1950,
nearly
two-thirds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
went on for the accommodation and more than 11% on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
on housing plummeted in 2010, 72. 1% to 22. 0% while it almost trebled in the case of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Healthcare
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expenditure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
,
on the contrary
, was the lowest,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2. 4%, and it increased by almost 2% in 2010.
Similarly
, the outlay on transportation
was elevated
in 2010 by
nearly
10%. The cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
for education was 6. 6% in 1950 which
slightly
decreased after six decades. Other categories attributed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
around 4%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
and
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
roughly
Did you mean "quintuples"?
quintuple
during the period.

In summary, the housing drained the highest percentages of money for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in this country in 1950 and after 60 years it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
of expense on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
increased
remarkably
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010. v. 4

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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