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The table below shows the number of medals won by the top ten countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games. v.1

The table below shows the number of medals won by the top ten countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games. v. 1
The given data shows the top ten medal winning countries in the London Olympic Games that was held in the year 2012. As is presented in the table data, the United States won the highest number of medals while Hungary had the least number of medals in this Olympic Games. According to the presentation, USA won the highest number of medals which was 104 and they also got the highest number of Gold and Silver medals. The highest number of Bronze medals was won by the Russian participants which were 32. Two Asian countries were in the top-ten-list, in terms of their medal winning, were China and South Korea. China won 88 medals in total, of which 29 were gold medals. South Korea was in 5th position with their 28 total medals. UK and Russia were in 3rd and 4th positions respectively with 65 and 82 medals. Though Russia won more medals than the UK, they were in 4th position because of the fact that the UK participants won more gold medals which seem to have better points than silver and bronze medals to be in the top position. The other countries who were in the Top-ten-list were Germany, France, Italy, Hungary and Australia with less than 50 medals in total. The least gold medal winning country was Australia and they were in the 10th position of the list.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the top ten
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medal
winning
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countries
in the London Olympic Games that
was held
in the year 2012. As
is presented
in the table data, the United States won the highest
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number
of
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medals
while Hungary had the least
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number
of
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medals
in this Olympic Games.

According to the presentation, USA won the highest
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number
of
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medals
which was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
104 and
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the highest
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number
of Gold and Silver
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medals
. The highest
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number
of Bronze
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medals
was won
by the Russian participants which were 32. Two Asian
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countries
were in the top-ten-list, in terms of their
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medal
winning, were China and South Korea. China won 88
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medals
in total, of which 29 were gold
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medals
. South Korea was in 5th
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position
with their 28 total
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medals
. UK and Russia were in 3rd and 4th
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positions
respectively
with 65 and 82
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medals
. Though Russia won more
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medals
than the UK, they were in 4th
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position
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
the UK participants won more gold
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medals
which seem to have better points than silver and bronze
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medals
to be in the top
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position
. The other
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countries
who were in the Top-ten-list were Germany, France, Italy, Hungary and Australia with less than 50
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medals
in total. The least gold
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medal
winning
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country
was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Australia and
they were in the 10th
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position
of the list.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS academic The table below shows the number of medals won by the top ten countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
229 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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