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The pie chart shows the percentage of women in poverty and the bar chart shows poverty rates by sex and age. They are from the United States in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The pie chart shows the percentage of women in poverty and the bar chart shows poverty rates by sex and age. They are from the United States in 2008.
Contained in the pie chart provided is data pertaining to the proportion of poor females, while the bar chart demonstrates the rates of poverty by gender and age in America in 2008. Overall, females who were single with no dependent children made up the largest proportion of total, and the poverty rate of females were higher than that of males. In regard to the pie chart, one sees a noteworthy gain in single females without dependent children. It is evident that the percentage of poor single females without children accounted considerably 54% of total, but the figure of single females who had children were only 8%. For married females, those who had children made up 12% which was 14% lower than the proportion of those with dependent children. Turning to the bar chart, the trend in evidence was one of downward. Apparently, the poverty rate of males under 5 years old was just over 20% and then decreased gradually to approximately to 7% when they reached 59 years old. After that, the males' poverty rate had a slight increase to about 9% at the age range of 60-64 before dropping inappreciably to around 6% at the age range of 75 and over. There was a similar trend for females as their poverty rates fell, starting from about 21% at the age of under 5 to nearly 15% when they were 75 and older. It is also worth noting that the lowest poverty rate of females was at the age range from 45 to 54, about 8% only.
Contained in the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
provided is data pertaining to the proportion of poor
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females
, while the bar
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chart
demonstrates the
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rates
of
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poverty
by gender and
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age
in America in 2008.
Overall
,
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females
who were
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single
with no dependent
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children
made up the largest proportion of total, and the
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poverty
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rate
of
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females
were higher than that of males.

In regard to the pie
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chart
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
a noteworthy gain in
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single
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females
without dependent
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children
. It is evident that the percentage of poor
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single
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females
without
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children
accounted
considerably
54% of total,
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but
the figure of
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single
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females
who had
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children
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8%. For married
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females
, those who had
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children
made up 12% which was 14% lower than the proportion of those with dependent children.

Turning to the bar
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chart
, the trend in evidence was one of downward.
Apparently
, the
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poverty
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rate
of males under 5 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 20% and then decreased
gradually
to approximately to 7% when they reached 59 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. After that, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
males&
#039;
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poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
had a slight increase to about 9% at the
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age
range of 60-64
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dropping
inappreciably
to around 6% at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range of 75 and over. There was a similar trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
fell, starting from about 21% at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of under 5 to
nearly
15% when they were 75 and older. It is
also
worth noting that the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
was at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range from 45 to 54, about 8%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie chart shows the percentage of women in poverty and the bar chart shows poverty rates by sex and age. They are from the United States in 2008.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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