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The bar chart shows the highest qualification attained by sex for the working age population in Wales in 2001 2002Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words v.2

The bar chart shows the highest qualification attained by sex for the working age population in Wales in 2001 2002
The bar chart provides information about working-age population and qualifications in Wales in 2001/2002. Proportions are represented by percentage. The box at the top left side represents sex. We can make comparison by sex, qualifications and percentage. The most noticeable feature is, for GCE A level or equivalent, above one-quarter percentage of males responsible for working share, whereas for GCSE grade A-C or equivalent, took the biggest share below 30 per cent of working females among all qualifications. For higher education qualification, both females and males took the minimum percentage. For instance, their percentages were 9 and 8 respectively. As people improved themselves, they could raise the percentage of the working population. However, without any qualification, it is surprising that they could earn money for their living. Also, no qualifications percentage scale was between GCE A-level and GCSE grade. As people get a degree after higher education, they raised their chances to get a job but getting a degree wasn' t mandatory or only way to get a job. Because other qualifications' share was almost same as degree qualifications.
The bar chart provides information about working-age population and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
in Wales in 2001/2002. Proportions
are represented
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
. The box at the top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side represents sex. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
comparison by sex,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
and percentage.

The most noticeable feature is, for
Possible spelling mistake found.
GCE
A level or equivalent, above one-quarter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of males responsible for working share, whereas for GCSE grade A-C or equivalent, took the biggest share below 30 per cent of working females among all qualifications.

For higher education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
, both females and males took the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
.
For instance
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
were 9 and 8
respectively
. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
themselves, they could raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the working population.
However
, without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
, it is surprising that they could earn money for their living.
Also
, no
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "qualifications'" or "qualification's"?
qualifications
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
scale was between
Possible spelling mistake found.
GCE
A-level and GCSE grade.

As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a degree after higher education, they raised their chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
getting a degree
Possible spelling mistake found.
wasn&
#039; t mandatory or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
qualifications&
#039; share was almost same as degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the highest qualification attained by sex for the working age population in Wales in 2001 2002

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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