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The pie chart shows the origins of all students who came to England from abroad to study in 2001. The bar chart shows numbers of students coming to England from seven Far Eastern countries in the same year v.2

The pie chart shows the origins of all students who came to England from abroad to study in 2001. The bar chart shows numbers of students coming to England from seven Far Eastern countries in the same year v. 2
The pie chart provides information about the nations of students coming to England from abroad to study in 2001. Bar chart is the breakdown of Far Eastern region and gives detailed information about the number of students coming from Far Eastern countries, PRC, India, Japan, Korea, Malaysia and Singapore. Overall, European students more prefer studying in England than other countries whereas Middle East students represent the least percentage. In the second graph illustrate the breakdown of Far Eastern countries. PRC constituted substantial amount of Far Eastern regions opposed to Korea. In the first graph, E. U nearly accounted for two-fifths of all students, and then the percentage of Far East Countries, which is second country sending students to England, is slightly more than one third. Number of African students was nearly two times less than those of Far Eastern countries. Non-EC countries and Middle East regions don’t have the significant piece of pie chart 6 percent and 5 percent respectively. In second graph breakdown of Far East countries illustrated. PRC send 7000 students to England nearly three times more than Malaysia. Number of Singaporean and Indian students more than one thousand whereas in Japan and Korea studying in England didn’t popular than other countries.
The pie chart provides information about the nations of
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students
coming to England from abroad to study in 2001. Bar chart is the breakdown of
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Far
Eastern region and gives detailed information about the number of
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students
coming from
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Far
Eastern
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countries
, PRC, India, Japan, Korea, Malaysia and Singapore.

Overall
, European
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students
more prefer studying in England than other
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countries
whereas Middle East
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students
represent the least percentage. In the second graph illustrate the breakdown of
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Far
Eastern
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countries
. PRC constituted substantial amount of
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Far
Eastern regions opposed to Korea.

In the
first
graph, E. U
nearly
accounted for two-fifths of all
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students
, and then the percentage of
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Far
East
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Countries
, which is second
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country
sending
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students
to England, is
slightly
more than one third. Number of African
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students
was
nearly
two times less than those of
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Far
Eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Non-EC
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countries
and Middle East regions don’t have the significant piece of pie chart 6 percent and 5 percent
respectively
.

In second graph breakdown of
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Far
East
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countries
illustrated. PRC
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
7000
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students
to England
nearly
three times more than Malaysia. Number of Singaporean and Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more than one thousand whereas in Japan and Korea studying in England didn’t popular than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS academic The pie chart shows the origins of all students who came to England from abroad to study in 2001. The bar chart shows numbers of students coming to England from seven Far Eastern countries in the same year v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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