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The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year. v.2

The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year. v. 2
The column graph gives a projection on the next year’s jeans sales of two companies in Turkey while the pie chart compares their estimated market share. Overall, jeans sales are estimated to increase at the last quarter next year and Jack & Jones brand is anticipated to have half of the market share. According to the first graph, Jack & Jones jeans clothing sale will be roughly 450 thousand pairs in Turkey, which is almost three times higher than that of Mango brand. At end of the first quarter, Jack & Jones is estimated to sell 300 thousand pairs of jeans in Turkey while it would be just above 150 thousand for Mango. In July and August, the demand for Mango jeans is estimated to exceed the demand of Jack & Jones. However, Jack & Jones is likely to witness a hike in its jeans sale during the last quarter of the year and in December it will sell 900, 000 pairs, double than its sale in January. During the last quarter, Mango jean’s sale would remain almost the same except a surge in December to 600 thousand sales. It is predicted that Jack & Jones alone will control the half of the market share while Mango corporation will have 30% market share. The remaining 20% would be controlled by the other jeans manufacturers.
The column graph gives a projection on the
next
year’s jeans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in Turkey while the pie chart compares their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
estimated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
share.
Overall
, jeans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
estimated
to increase at the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
next
year and Jack &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
brand
is anticipated
to have half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
share.

According to the
first
graph, Jack &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
jeans clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
will be roughly 450 thousand pairs in Turkey, which is almost three times higher than that of Mango brand. At
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
, Jack &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
estimated
to sell 300 thousand pairs of jeans in Turkey while it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 150 thousand for Mango. In July and August, the demand for Mango jeans is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
estimated
to exceed the demand of Jack &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
.
However
, Jack &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
is likely to witness a hike in its jeans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
during the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
of the year and in December it will sell 900, 000 pairs,
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
in January. During the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
, Mango jean’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
would remain almost the same except a surge in December to 600 thousand sales.

It
is predicted
that Jack &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
alone will control the half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
share while Mango corporation will have 30%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
share. The remaining 20% would
be controlled
by the other jeans manufacturers.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
224 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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