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The pie chart shows information about water resources, and the bar chart shows the utilization of water in Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Canada. v.2

The pie chart shows information about water resources, and the bar chart shows the utilization of water in Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Canada. v. 2
The given bar charts illustrate the water consumption by the world while the provided bar chart compares water used in countries' fields including domestic, manufacturing and agricultural. It can clearly be seen that fresh water reached the highest point of water using in the world. The figure of water used in Domestic section accounted for the lowest point in all three nations. According to the pie chart, it is noticeable that the percentage of fresh water exceeded that of salty water. To be more specific, in Fresh water, Ground water was utilised 70%, followed by 20% of ice water and 10% from surface water. According to the bar chart, a vast majority of water utilised by agricultural sector in both Egypt and Saudi Arabia. By contrast, Industry water consumption accounted for the highest point of water using in Canada. However, there was a similar pattern of water using among all three countries' domestic section, remaining between 15% and 20%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption by the world while the provided bar
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chart
compares
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
countries&
#039; fields including domestic, manufacturing and agricultural.

It can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
reached the highest point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
using in the world. The figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Domestic section accounted for the lowest point in all three nations.

According to the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, it is noticeable that the percentage of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
exceeded that of salty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. To be more specific, in Fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, Ground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
70%, followed by 20% of ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and 10% from surface water.

According to the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, a vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
by agricultural sector in both Egypt and Saudi Arabia. By contrast, Industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption accounted for the highest point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
using in Canada.
However
, there was a similar pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
using among all three
Possible spelling mistake found.
countries&
#039; domestic section, remaining between 15% and 20%.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie chart shows information about water resources, and the bar chart shows the utilization of water in Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Canada. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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