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The pie chart compares the proportion of enrolments on six different courses at a UK collegeof education in 2010 and 2012 v.2

The pie chart compares the proportion of enrolments on six different courses at a UK collegeof education in 2010 and 2012 v. 2
The pie chart compares the proportion of enrolments on six different courses at a UK college of education in 2010 and 2012. Overall, it can be seen that the greatest change was in the percentage of enrolments to the sports science courses. In 2010, the most popular course was social studies, representing just over a quarter of all enrolments, and although it was still a popular course, by 2012 it had fallen to one fifth of the total. At 25. 7%, nursing was the second most popular subject to study, but this fell significantly to only 14% two years later. Initially, enrolment on the sports science course was fairly low, at only 11. 9%. However, this figure increased dramatically over the two years to represent the largest proportion of enrolments in 2012 at 25. 5%. Less change was seen in the remaining three courses. Enrolments on the engineering course went up slightly to 18. 5% in 2012, but psychology remained virtually unchanged. This was also the case for carpentry, which experienced very low levels of enrolment throughout the period.
The pie chart compares the proportion of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
on six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
at a UK college

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
education in 2010 and 2012.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the greatest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was in the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
percentage
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
to the sports science courses.

In 2010, the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
was social studies, representing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a quarter of all

Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
, and although it was
still
a popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, by 2012 it had fallen to one fifth of the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
total
. At 25. 7%, nursing was the second most popular subject to study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this fell

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
significantly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
14% two years later.
Initially
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
on the sports science course

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
was
fairly
low, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
11. 9%.
However
, this figure increased
dramatically
over the two years

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
represent the largest proportion of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
in 2012 at 25. 5%.

Less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the remaining three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Enrolments' is British English.
Enrolments
on the engineering
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
course


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
went
up
slightly
to 18. 5% in 2012,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
psychology remained
virtually
unchanged. This
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
was


Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
the case for carpentry, which experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low levels of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
throughout the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
period
.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS academic The pie chart compares the proportion of enrolments on six different courses at a UK collegeof education in 2010 and 2012 v. 2

Academic
  American English
13 paragraphs
179 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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