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The bar chart below shows the proportions of English men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person households. v.3

The bar chart below shows the proportions of English men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person households. v. 3
The bar chart indicates the percentage of males and females by gender staying alone in England in 2011 and the pie chart compares how many bedroom in one – person households in England in 2011. In terms of Living alone, men accounted for a higher rate of people staying alone than women in 25- 49 age group and below. In contrast, this rate for females 65-74 age group and above was a higher than males. In the 50 – 64 age range, the proportion of women living alone is as high as that of men with about 50 % in each. When it comes to the number of bedroom in one persona households, 2 bedrooms in one person households in Enland had the highest rate of using with 35, 4%. While 5 or more bedrooms record a least rate with 1, 4 %. 1 bedroom consisted of as an roughly equal rate of using in one person households as 3 bedrooms with 28 % and 29, 8% respectively. 4 bedroom amounted to 5, 3% in a person households in Enland in 2011.
The bar chart indicates the percentage of males and females by gender staying
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alone
in England in 2011 and the pie chart compares how
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many
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bedroom
in one
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–
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person
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households
in England in 2011.

In terms of Living
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alone
,
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men
accounted for a higher
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rate
of
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people
staying
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alone
than women in
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
25- 49
age group and below.
In contrast
, this
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rate
for females 65-74 age group and above was a higher than males.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the 50 – 64 age range, the proportion of women living
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alone
is as high as that of
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men
with about 50 % in each.

When it
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comes
to the number of
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bedroom
in one persona
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households
, 2
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bedrooms
in one
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person
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households
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Enland
had the highest
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rate
of using with 35, 4%. While 5 or more
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bedrooms
record
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a
least
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rate
with 1, 4 %. 1
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bedroom
consisted of as
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
roughly equal
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rate
of using in one
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person
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households
as 3
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bedrooms
with 28 % and 29, 8%
respectively
. 4
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bedroom
amounted to 5, 3% in a
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person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Enland
in 2011.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the proportions of English men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person households. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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