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The bar chart below shows the proportions of English men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person households. v.2

The bar chart below shows the proportions of English men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person households. v. 2
The bar graph compares the ratio of English males and females from different age groups who lived individually in 2011, while the pie chart shows the number of bedrooms they had. Overall, more British women lived alone when they got older and most of these separately living persons' houses comprised one to three bedrooms. According to the bar chart, more British females, roughly 55%, lived alone than that of males in 2011. This is particularly true for the aged women since roughly 70% of them lived separately compared to less than 30% males over 65 years old. The ratio of both genders living alone who were 50 to 64 years old in 2011 was exactly the same. However, younger English males preferred to live individually more than their female counterparts. Six out of ten, on an average, were men who lived solo when they were younger, 16-49 years old. The highest percentages of single males of this category were between 35 to 49 years old while this ratio was highest for the women over 80 years old. The pie chart depicts that most of the single persons’ houses had one to three bedrooms and two-bedroom houses for such people was the highest, around 35%, exceeding the three-bedroom apartments by roughly 6 percent. Scarcely they had larger houses with many rooms and around one-fourth of these homes had only one room.
The bar graph compares the ratio of English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and females from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lived
individually
in 2011, while the pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the number of bedrooms they had.
Overall
, more British women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lived
alone when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
older and most of these
separately
living persons'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
comprised one to three bedrooms.

According to the bar chart, more British females, roughly 55%,
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lived
alone than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
in 2011. This is
particularly
true for the aged women since roughly 70% of them
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lived
separately
compared to less than 30%
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males
over 65 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
. The ratio of both genders living alone who were 50 to 64 years
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old
in 2011 was exactly the same.
However
, younger English
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males
preferred to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
individually
more than their female counterparts. Six out of ten, on an average, were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who
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lived
solo when they were younger, 16-49 years
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old
. The highest percentages of single
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males
of this category were
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 35 and 49".
between 35 to 49
years
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old
while this ratio was highest for the women over 80 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

The pie chart depicts that most of the single persons’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
had one to three bedrooms and two-bedroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
for such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was the highest, around 35%, exceeding the three-bedroom apartments by roughly 6 percent.
Scarcely
they had larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rooms and around one-fourth of these homes had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one room.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the proportions of English men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person households. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
230 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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