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The line graph compares the production of energy from coal in Sweden, France, Denmark and Germany between 1995 and 2010. v.2

The line graph compares the production of energy from coal in Sweden, France, Denmark and Germany between 1995 and 2010. v. 2
The line graph compares the production of energy from coal in Sweden, France, Denmark and Germany between 1995 and 2010. Overall, the percentage of energy produced from coal declined in all four countries over the timeframe. There was a dramatic fall in the production in Denmark and Germany. Denmark’s production of energy from coal stood at 60% in 1995, higher than the other four countries. However, production levels dropped sharply over the next 15 years to finish at 10% in 2010, which was the lowest of that year. Energy production from coal in Germany followed a similar pattern, beginning the period at just under 60% and falling significantly, though unlike Denmark it fell to a low of only 5% in 2007 and then increased again to approximately 18%. In contrast, Sweden and France saw more moderate falls over the period. 35% of energy came from coal in Sweden in 1995, and this proportion gradually declined over the period to finish at approximately 28% in 2010, the highest of the four countries, while the percentage produced in France remained just under that of Sweden over the 15-year period. _________________________________________________________
The line graph compares the
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production
of energy from coal in Sweden, France,

Denmark and Germany between 1995 and 2010.
Overall
, the percentage of energy

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produced
from coal declined in all four countries
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over
the timeframe.

There was a dramatic fall in the
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production
in Denmark and Germany. Denmark’
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s


production of energy from coal stood at 60% in 1995, higher than the other four

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countries
.
However
,
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production
levels dropped
sharply
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over
the
next
15 years to

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finish
at 10% in 2010, which was the lowest of that year. Energy
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production
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from


coal in Germany followed a similar pattern, beginning the
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period
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 60%

and falling
significantly
, though unlike Denmark it fell to a low of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% in 2007

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
then increased again to approximately 18%.

In contrast
, Sweden and France
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saw
more moderate falls
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over
the
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period
. 35% of

energy came from coal in Sweden in 1995, and this proportion
gradually
declined

over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
to finish at approximately 28% in 2010, the highest of the four

countries, while the percentage produced in France remained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under that of

Sweden
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over
the 15-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period. _________________________________________________________
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
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IELTS academic The line graph compares the production of energy from coal in Sweden, France, Denmark and Germany between 1995 and 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
16 paragraphs
187 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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