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The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. v.8

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. v. 8
The pie chart and table show reasons for worldwide land degradation & causes of land degradation in three different regions respectively in the 1990s. The main cause of land degradation worldwide was over-grazing which caused 35% land degradation, while the highest percentage of land degradation in different regions was due to over-grazing and in Oceania, this was the highest. It can be examined that the second largest factor of land degradation was deforestation which differentiates by 5% less than over-grazing. Then the third driven-reason of land degradation was over-cultivation with 28% effect on land degradation. These three main reasons caused 93% total degradation of lands and remaining 7% was due to other reasons. The area where highest land degraded occurred was in Europe which was 23%. Oceania (that included Australia and New Zealand and a large part of South Pacific) ranked as the second highest land-degraded area by only around a half of European land degradation percentage. North America is the area with the least land degradation, especially with least deforestation. Deforestation and over-cultivation contributed to European land degradation more than other parts as they were the highest level of degradation in each region.
The pie chart and table
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show
reasons for worldwide
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land
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degradation
& causes of
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land
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degradation
in three
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different
regions
respectively
in the 1990s. The main cause of
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land
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degradation
worldwide was over-grazing which caused 35%
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land
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degradation
, while the highest percentage of
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land
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degradation
in
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different
regions was due to over-grazing and in Oceania, this was the highest.

It can
be examined
that the second largest factor of
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land
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degradation
was deforestation which differentiates by 5% less than over-grazing. Then the third driven-reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
was over-cultivation with 28% effect on
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land
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degradation
. These three main reasons caused 93% total
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degradation
of
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lands
and remaining 7% was due to other reasons.

The area where
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highest
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land
degraded occurred was in Europe which was 23%. Oceania (that included Australia and New Zealand and a large part of South Pacific) ranked as the second highest land-degraded area by
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only
around a half of European
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land
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degradation
percentage. North America is the area with the least
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land
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degradation
,
especially
with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
deforestation. Deforestation and over-cultivation contributed to European
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land
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degradation
more than other parts as they were the highest level of
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degradation
in each region.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. v. 8

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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