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The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. v.4

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. v. 4
The given pie chart and table depict the significant causes of less productivity of agricultural land in three parts of the world in the 1990s. As is observed from the pie chart, the main reason for land degradation around the globe is due to over-grazing. It can be clearly seen from the table that Europe had the highest percentage of total land degraded than the other two regions. Over-grazing is the main cause of worldwide land degradation which accounted for 35%. It is followed closely by deforestation which is 5% less than overgrazing by herbivores. The third reason why agricultural land degraded is caused by over-cultivation, accounted for 28%. The non-specific reason which is categorised as ‘other’ stood at 7%. Europe has the highest percentage of land degraded which is 23% in comparison with Oceania which consists of the huge group of islands in the South Pacific including Australia and New Zealand (13%) and North America (5%). In Europe, the most detrimental cause of land degradation is deforestation by human beings which stood at 9. 8%, whereas in Oceania, it is caused mainly by over-grazing which accounted for 11. 3% than deforestation (1. 7%). Over-cultivation did not contribute to the cause of land degradation in Oceania but it was the main reason that led North America to face the land degradation problem, which accounted for 3. 3%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart and table depict the significant
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causes
of less productivity of agricultural
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land
in three parts of the world in the 1990s. As
is observed
from the pie chart, the main
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reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
around the globe is due to over-grazing. It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the table that Europe had the highest percentage of total
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land
Use "(degraded)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
degraded
than the other two regions.

Over-grazing is the main
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cause
of worldwide
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land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
which
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accounted
for 35%. It
is followed
closely
by deforestation which is 5% less than overgrazing by herbivores. The third
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reason
why agricultural
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land
degraded
is caused
by over-cultivation,
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accounted
for 28%. The non-specific
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reason
which is
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorised' is British English.
categorised
as ‘other’ stood at 7%.

Europe has the highest percentage of
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land
degraded which is 23%
in comparison
with Oceania which consists of the huge group of islands in the South Pacific including Australia and New Zealand (13%) and North America (5%). In Europe, the most detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
is deforestation by human beings which stood at 9. 8%, whereas in Oceania, it
is caused
mainly
by over-grazing which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for 11. 3% than deforestation (1. 7%). Over-cultivation did not contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
in Oceania
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was the main
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reason
that led North America to face the
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land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
problem, which
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accounted
for 3. 3%.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS academic The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. v. 4

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
227 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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