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The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. v.4

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. v. 4
The given pie charts illustrate the changes on the fuel sources for making electricity in two different countries in 1980 and 2000. From this chart, we can immediately observe that the total production of electricity in 2000 was around twice as it was in 1980, both in Australia and France. However, the amount of electricity production by different fuel sources was quite different in both countries. For Australia, in 1980, there were 20 units and 10 units of electricity produced by natural gas and oil, respectively. Dramatically, in 2000, the demand of both of these sources got decreased, and only 4 units of electricity were produced. Moreover, no significant changes happened in the amount of electricity made by hydropower in 1980, and 2000 as well. However, as a fuel source that hasn’t been used in Australia, nuclear power seems to be more popular in France, which made 15 units in 1980. In 2000, apparently, nuclear power became the main fuel source for producing electricity. 126 units of electricity were made from this source, which was 8 times as many as the amount in 1980. Furthermore, there was no change in the usage of coal for make electricity between 1980 and 2000. In contrast, the amount of electricity made by coal increased significantly, compared with in 1980. All in all, there was a lot of change on the different fuel sources for making the amount of electricity in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
The
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given
pie charts illustrate the
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changes
on the
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fuel
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sources
for making
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electricity
in two
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different
countries in 1980 and 2000. From this chart, we can immediately observe that the total production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in 2000 was around twice as it was in 1980, both in Australia and France.
However
, the
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amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
production by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
was quite
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different
in both countries.

For Australia, in 1980, there were 20
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units
and 10
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units
of
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electricity
produced by natural gas and oil,
respectively
.
Dramatically
, in 2000, the demand of both of these
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sources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
decreased, and
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only
4
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units
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
were produced
.
Moreover
, no significant
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changes
happened in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
made by hydropower in 1980, and 2000
as well
.

However
, as a
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fuel
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source
that hasn’t been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Australia, nuclear power seems to be more popular in France, which made 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in 1980. In 2000,
apparently
, nuclear power became the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
for producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
. 126
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units
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
were made
from this
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source
, which was 8 times as
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many
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
in 1980.
Furthermore
, there was no
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change
in the usage of coal for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
between 1980 and 2000.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
made by coal increased
significantly
, compared with in 1980.

All in all, there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
for making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS academic The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. v. 4

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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