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The paragraph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v.2

The paragraph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 2
The provided graph compares the consume of fish and three other types of meat such as: beef, lamb and chicken in a country that is located in Europe from 1979 to 2004. At a glance fish consumption remains the same during the period. On the other hand, beef and lamb decreased sharply, although beef graph increased at first. The only increase in consuming the meat belongs to chicken, which rose rapidly between 1979 and 2004. By comparing the beef and the lamb, it shows that beef reached a peak in 80' s which the consumption is around 25 grams per person per week, but after a while it dropped slightly, although the consumption increased minimally after 1989 by consuming 100 grams per person weekly. The lamb consumption decreased sharply by 1979 and the graph shows the alter in consuming of the lamb by passing the time. It hit to the highest point in 1979 by 150 grams per person and reached to the lowest point around 2000 by more than 50 grams per person. The fish graph depicts that consuming of the fish didn' t face with significant alter, and mostly were stable from 1979 to 2004. On the other hand chicken consumption increased sharply and reached on a peak around 2000 which show 250 gram per person per week. Above all, consumers tendency for chicken increased by the time and they decided to consume less beef and lamb during the period. On the other hand, fish consumption didn' t have many changes by passing the time.
The provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
compares
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'consume' is correct. If 'consume' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the consume
of fish and three
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other
types of meat such as:
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beef
,
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lamb
and chicken in a country that
is located
in Europe from 1979 to 2004. At a glance fish
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consumption
remains the same during the period. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
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beef
and
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lamb
decreased
sharply
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
at
first
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase in consuming the meat belongs to chicken, which rose
rapidly
between 1979 and 2004. By comparing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lamb
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
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beef
reached a peak in 80' s which the
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consumption
is around 25
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grams
per
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person
per week,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after a while it dropped
slightly
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
minimally
after 1989 by consuming 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
weekly. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lamb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
decreased
sharply
by 1979 and the
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the alter in consuming of the
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lamb
by passing the time. It hit to the highest point in 1979 by 150
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
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person
and reached to the lowest point around 2000 by more than 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. The fish
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graph
depicts that consuming of the fish
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t face with significant alter, and
mostly
were stable from 1979 to 2004. On the
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other
hand chicken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
sharply
and reached on a peak around 2000 which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
250
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
per
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person
per week.
Above all
, consumers tendency for chicken
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increased
by the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they decided to consume less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lamb
during the period. On the
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other
hand, fish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
by passing the time.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The paragraph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 2

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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