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The chart bellow shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. v.2

The chart bellow shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002
The graph depicts the average of minutes (by billions) of telephone conversation in the UK, accounted from three types, i. e. local-fixed line, national and international line, as well as mobile phones between 1995 and 2002. Overall, both national-international line services and mobile phones experienced a graduate increase in the given period. By contrast, local-fixed line, although possessed bigger portion of usage in 1999 onward, somehow begin to decrease in the end of the given sequence. Firstly, the number of telephone calls trough national and international services gradually escalated from approximately 38 billion minute calls 1995 to reach just beyond 60 billion minutes annually in the end of 2002. Similarly, the mobile phone services, which the tiniest portions in the initial period, showed a considerable growth over the years, i. e. from nearly 2 billion minute calls in 95 to about 45 billion minute phone-conversations in 2002. On the other hand, local-line services that stood at just after 70 billion minutes in 1995, convincingly rose to 90 billion in 1998 onward and remained stable to 1999, before it dropped gradually to reach just above 70 billion minute calls in 2002 respectively.
The graph depicts the average of minutes (by
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billions)
of telephone conversation in the UK, accounted from three types,
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
local-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
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line
, national and international
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line
,
as well
as mobile phones between 1995 and 2002.

Overall
, both national-international
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line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and mobile phones experienced a graduate increase in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. By contrast, local-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
, although possessed bigger portion of usage in 1999 onward, somehow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to decrease in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
sequence.

Firstly
, the number of telephone
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calls
trough national and international
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services
gradually
escalated from approximately 38
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billion
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minute
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calls
1995 to reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
beyond 60
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billion
minutes
annually
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2002.
Similarly
, the mobile phone
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services
, which the tiniest portions in the initial period,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a considerable growth over the years,
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
from
nearly
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
in 95 to about 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minute
phone-conversations in 2002.
On the other hand
, local-line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
that stood at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
minutes in 1995,
convincingly
rose to 90
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billion
in 1998 onward and remained stable to 1999,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it dropped
gradually
to reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
in 2002
respectively
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS academic The chart bellow shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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