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The chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they travelled abroad and why they travelled for the period 1994-98. v.2

The chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they travelled abroad and why they travelled for the period 1994-98. v. 2
The table gives data regarding the outcomes of a survey in which 100, 000 UK residents participated as to how many of them visited abroad and why between the years 1994 and 1998. Overall, there was a growth in the number of people visited abroad for different reasons during the five years, except for the year 1995, in which the number declined slightly. The main purpose of travelers was for holiday, followed by business. In addition, the purpose of holiday included the most increased number of people from 1994 to 1998. In 1994, approximately one-fifth (22, 072) of British citizens traveled to a foreign country, While the figures show that there was a slight reduction in 1995, falling to 21, 610, the trend was upward for the next three years, reaching 28, 828 in 1998. Regarding the purposes of visiting abroad, we see that the holiday was the most frequent reason for British people taking a trip to foreign countries for five years, from 15, 246 in 1994 to 20, 700 in 1998. After that, business took the second place reason going to abroad, fluctuating about 3, 000 people each year during the period, followed by the purpose of visiting friends and acquaintances, reaching 3, 181 individuals in 1998. Finally, 1000 UK residents that fluctuated during the period decided to take a trip for other reasons.
The table gives data regarding the outcomes of a survey in which 100, 000 UK residents participated as to how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them visited
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abroad
and why between the years 1994 and 1998.

Overall
, there was a growth in the number of
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people
visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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reasons
during the five years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the
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year
1995, in which the number declined
slightly
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of travelers was for holiday, followed by business.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of holiday included the most increased number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from 1994 to 1998.

In 1994, approximately one-fifth (22, 072) of British citizens traveled to a foreign country, While the figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that there was a slight reduction in 1995, falling to 21, 610, the trend was upward for the
next
three years, reaching 28, 828 in 1998.

Regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the holiday was the most frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
taking a trip to foreign countries for five years, from 15, 246 in 1994 to 20, 700 in 1998. After that, business took the second place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, fluctuating about 3, 000
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people
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
during the period, followed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of visiting friends and acquaintances, reaching 3, 181 individuals in 1998.
Finally
, 1000 UK residents that fluctuated during the period decided to take a trip for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they travelled abroad and why they travelled for the period 1994-98. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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