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The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. v.2

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
The diagram illustrate the development of Queen Mary Hospital from 1960 to 2000. In 1960 hospital was built beside Shopping Centre and Car Park. The largest area wa farmland. In 1980, Cancer Centre and Pharmacy replaced Shopping Centre. Beside the farmland disappeared and a nursing school was built at that area. In 2000, hospital and pharmacy building were unchanged while cancer centre were extended. Nursing school and car park became smaller a half. There were a lot of changes in hospital within 40 years. New buildings were built and extended, while some areas were disappeared and decreased size.
The diagram
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "illustrates".
illustrate
the development of Queen Mary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
from 1960 to 2000.

In 1960
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
was built
beside Shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
and Car Park. The largest area
Possible spelling mistake found.
wa
farmland.

In 1980, Cancer
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
and Pharmacy replaced Shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
. Beside the farmland disappeared and a nursing school
was built
at that area.

In 2000,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
and pharmacy building
were unchanged
while cancer
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
were extended
. Nursing school and car park became smaller a half.

There were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
within 40 years. New buildings
were built
and extended, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas
were disappeared
and decreased size.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS academic The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
98 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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