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The charts below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six area of the world. Summarize the information by selecting the main features and make comparison where relevant. v.2

The charts below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six area of the world.
The six pie graph depict the diverse usage of water in six regions of the earth. Overall, while in North America and Europe, industry is the main consumer of water, in other areas water is used in agriculture more than other purpose. In addition the percentage of water used for agriculture in central Asia is more than the like purpose in other areas. Europe by more 50% of water resource is the first region whereas central Asia apply just 5% of water resource in industry. In addition, in Europe just 32% of water is consumed by agricultural activity, which it is less than any other area. Consumption patter in North America is so close to Europe by, 48%, 39% and 13% for industrial, agricultural and domestic purposes respectively. The lowest usage of water in domestic activity, belong to central Asia and south east Asia (7%), south America but use more than 19% of water resource, highest amount for this purpose among the so-called regions. Although in Africa percentage of agricultural usage of water is less than central Asia by 84%, percentage two other purpose is more than Asia by 2%.
The six pie graph depict the diverse usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in six regions of the earth.

Overall
, while in North America and Europe, industry is the main consumer of
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water
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in agriculture more than
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for agriculture in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
central Asia
is more than the like
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purpose
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas.

Europe by more 50% of
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water
resource is the
first
region whereas
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
central Asia
apply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resource in industry.
In addition
, in Europe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
32% of
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water
is consumed
by agricultural activity, which it is less than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
area. Consumption patter in North America is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
close to Europe by, 48%, 39% and 13% for industrial, agricultural and domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
respectively
.

The lowest usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in domestic activity, belong to
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
central Asia
and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south east
Asia (7%),
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "South America"
south America
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more than 19% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resource,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
amount for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called regions. Although in Africa percentage of agricultural usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is less than
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
central Asia
by 84%, percentage two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
is more than Asia by 2%.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six area of the world.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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