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The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen marry Hospital since its construction in 1960. v.2

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen marry Hospital since its construction in 1960. v. 2
The given maps illustrates how the infrastructure of the Queen Mary Hospital has been evolved from 1960 to 2000. Overall, the development of Hospital was done in two phases and the main focus was construction and expansion of the Cancer center while the Hospital building remained same throughout the period. Regarding the first phase from 1960 to 1980, besides the main road half of the total area of the Shopping center was utilized for building the Cancer center and in the rest land Pharmacy building was planted. Moreover, The Nursing school was also opened up in the farmland behind the Cancer center and Pharmacy Building with internal roads surrounding the School. In the second phase from 1980 to 2000, area of the Cancer center was significantly tripled by replacing the Nursing school which was reconstructed in the half area of the Car park. However, The pharmacy and Hospital complex was maintained in the same manner up to 2000.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
maps illustrates how the infrastructure of the Queen Mary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
has
been evolved
from 1960 to 2000.

Overall
, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
was done
in two phases and the main focus was construction and expansion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cancer
center while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
remained same throughout the period.

Regarding the
first
phase from 1960 to 1980,
besides
the main road half of the total area of the Shopping center
was utilized
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cancer
center and in the rest land Pharmacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
was planted
.
Moreover
, The Nursing school was
also
opened up in the farmland behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cancer
center and Pharmacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Building
with internal roads surrounding the School.

In the second phase from 1980 to 2000, area of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cancer
center was
significantly
tripled by replacing the Nursing school which
was reconstructed
in the half area of the Car park.
However
, The pharmacy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
complex
was maintained
in the same manner up to 2000.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen marry Hospital since its construction in 1960. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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