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The map below shows the changes in an American town between 1948 and 2010. v.2

The map below shows the changes in an American town between 1948 and 2010. v. 2
The given illustration compares the map of an American town in 2010 with that of 1948. Analyzing the town in both 1948 and 2010, it is obvious that despite some general changes like the relocation of buildings or the establishment of new facilities, its main structure remained almost the same. As can be seen, residential apartments in the south-east corner of the town were untouched, and it is the same for the streets of the town and the canal. Moreover, the trees of the town were not chopped-down for new constructions. It is worth noticing that the petrol station down the streets, which run south-west to north-east, was not demolished or repositioned. Looking further at the maps, many changes took place during the period. The supermarket was relocated and the church was demolished to make way for a sports stadium. The residential houses located at the corner of the main streets were knocked down in order to build two commercial structures. Furthermore, in 2010 there is an airport, located in the eastern part, the place where four factories were running in 1948. The presence of commercial buildings in 2010 is noticeable while houses and factories were predominant in 1948’s map.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustration compares the map of an American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
in 2010 with that of 1948. Analyzing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
in both 1948 and 2010, it is obvious that despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
like the relocation of buildings or the establishment of new facilities, its main structure remained almost the same.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, residential apartments in the south-east corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
were untouched
, and it is the same for the streets of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
and the canal.
Moreover
, the trees of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
were not chopped-down for new constructions. It is worth noticing that the petrol station down the streets, which run south-west to north-east, was not demolished or repositioned.

Looking
further
at the maps,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
took place during the period. The supermarket
was relocated
and the church
was demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for a sports stadium. The residential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
located at the corner of the main streets
were knocked
down in order to build two commercial structures.
Furthermore
, in 2010 there is an airport, located in the eastern part, the place where four factories were running in 1948. The presence of commercial buildings in 2010 is noticeable while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and factories were predominant in 1948’s map.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS academic The map below shows the changes in an American town between 1948 and 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
200 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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