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The line graph shows the historical oil prices per barrel from 1973 to January 2009. v.1

The line graph shows the historical oil prices per barrel from 1973 to January 2009. v. 1
The line graph illustrates changes in oil price between the year 1973 and the first month of 2009. Data is collected by inflationdata. com and the Department of Revenue of Alaska. Overall, oil price per barrel ranged from as low as 5 dollars in the early years to as high as 145 dollars in recent years. Additionally, it did not go beyond 40 dollars before 2006. Per barrel of oil was sold at 5 dollars in 1973, which was the lowest price compared with the years afterwards. It took 8 years for the price to increase to approximately 40 dollars, before becoming nearly 20 USD in 1986. From there, oil price fluctuated around 20 dollars a barrel until it dropped to 10 dollars in 1998. However, the price increased 3-fold by the end of the 20th century and furtherly surged to nearly 40 dollars per barrel in 2005. The most noticeable changes took place in the remaining years, as the price reached the zenith of over 140 dollars in 2007. But as of January 2009, after continuous decreases, the figure stood at about 42 dollars a barrel.
The line graph illustrates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
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oil
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price
between the
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year
1973 and the
first
month of 2009. Data
is collected
by
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inflationdata
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
and the Department of Revenue of Alaska.

Overall
,
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oil
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price
per
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barrel
ranged from as low as 5
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dollars
in the early years to as high as 145
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dollars
in recent years.
Additionally
, it did not go beyond 40
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dollars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
2006.

Per
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barrel
of
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oil
was sold
at 5
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dollars
in 1973, which was the lowest
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price
compared with the years afterwards. It took 8 years for the
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price
to increase to approximately 40
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dollars
,
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before
becoming
nearly
20 USD in 1986. From there,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
fluctuated around 20
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dollars
a
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barrel
until it dropped to 10
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dollars
in 1998.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
increased 3-fold by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the 20th century and
Possible spelling mistake found.
furtherly
surged to
nearly
40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrel
in 2005. The most noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
took place in the remaining years, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
reached the zenith of over 140
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in 2007.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as of January 2009, after continuous decreases, the figure stood at about 42
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrel
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph shows the historical oil prices per barrel from 1973 to January 2009. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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