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The line graph shows the population size, birth rate and death rate of england and wales from 1700 to 2000. v.2

The line graph shows the population size, birth rate and death rate of england and wales from 1700 to 2000. v. 2
The line graph illustrates the information about the population size of the England and Wales in millions. The birth and death rate (per 1000 of people) of the England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. A brisk look on the graph makes it clear that, over the period of given years, the population size rose significantly instead of birth and death rate. A close look on line graph makes it lucid that, in 1700, the population size stood at nearly 3 millions. After 5 decades (1750), it uplifted rapidly to 10 millions which was levelled off till 1800. From 1800 to 2000, it soared steeply to approximately 50 millions and reached on apex point. Whereas, in the initial year (1700), the death rate stayed at about 27 per 1000 of individuals. In 1750, it was increased sharply to just over 35 which was stable till 1800. Between 1800 and 1950, it went down quickly to 20 which remained stagnant till 2000. Despite, the birth rate of England and Wales stood at 30 in 1700. It climbed steeply to 40 in 1750 and remained constant till 1800. From 1800 to 1950 it went down quickly to below 25. After 50 years ( in 2000), it grew markedly to over 30.
The line graph illustrates the information about the population size of the England and Wales in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
. The birth and death rate (per 1000 of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
) of the England and Wales between 1700 and 2000.

A brisk look on the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, over the period of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years, the population size rose
significantly
instead
of birth and death rate.

A close look on line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it lucid that, in 1700, the population size stood at
nearly
3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
. After 5 decades (1750), it uplifted
rapidly
to 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
which
was levelled
off till 1800. From 1800 to 2000, it soared
steeply
to approximately 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
and reached on apex point. Whereas, in the initial year (1700), the death rate stayed at about 27 per 1000 of individuals. In 1750, it
was increased
sharply
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 35 which was stable till 1800. Between 1800 and 1950, it went down
quickly
to 20 which remained stagnant till 2000.

Despite, the birth rate of England and Wales stood at 30 in 1700. It climbed
steeply
to 40 in 1750 and remained constant till 1800. From 1800 to 1950 it went down
quickly
to below 25. After 50 years
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
in 2000), it grew
markedly
to over 30.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph shows the population size, birth rate and death rate of england and wales from 1700 to 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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