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The line graph below shows the population size, birth and death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. v.1

The line graph below shows the population size, birth and death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. v. 1
The line graph gives data on the birth rate, death rate and total population of England and Wales over the span of three centuries, from 1700 to 2000. As a general trend, the population in England and Wales increased overwhelmingly after the 19th century and the death rate declined while the birth rate after 1950 went upward. As the diagram suggests, the population of England and Wales at the beginning of the 18th century was only 3 million which went as high as 10 million in 50 years. During the next 50 years, the population noticeably declined and reached to just over 3 million again at the beginning of the 19th century. However, a rapid population growth could be observed and it soared in the following centuries before reaching to 50 million in 2000. The birth rate, childbirth per 1000 people, in England and Wales was 30 in the year 1700, which grew to 40 after 50 years. The death rate, number of mortality per 1000 people, followed a similar trend and reached to almost 38 in 1750. Afterwards, both the birth and death rates sank steadily and reached to just over 20 in 1950 with some fluctuations in the preceding decades. After that, the birth rate sharply increased and skyrocketed while the death rate stabilized. In 2000, the birth rate in the UK and Wales was as high as 34 while the death rate was 20.
The line graph gives data on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
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rate
, death
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rate
and total
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population
of England and Wales over the span of three
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centuries
, from 1700 to 2000. As a general trend, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in England and Wales increased
overwhelmingly
after the 19th century and the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
declined while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
after 1950 went upward.

As the diagram suggests, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of England and Wales at the beginning of the 18th century was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3
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million
which went as high as 10
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million
in 50 years. During the
next
50 years, the
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population
noticeably
declined and reached to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 3
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million
again at the beginning of the 19th century.
However
, a rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth could
be observed
and it soared in the following
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centuries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to 50
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million
in 2000.

The
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, childbirth per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, in England and Wales was 30 in the
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year
1700, which grew to 40 after 50 years. The death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, number of mortality per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, followed a similar trend and reached to almost 38 in 1750. Afterwards, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
sank
steadily
and reached to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 20 in 1950 with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations in the preceding decades. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
sharply
increased and skyrocketed while the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
stabilized. In 2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in the UK and Wales was as high as 34 while the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was 20.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the population size, birth and death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
237 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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