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The line graph below shows the population size birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The line graph below shows the population size birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000
The given line graph illustrates the information about the population size and also compare birth rate and mortality rate of England and Wales over the three decade from 1700. Overall, population rate of England and Wales showed an upward trend, whereas death and birth rate showed a fluctuating trend. The death and birth rate followed a similar trend from 1700-1950. From 1700 to 1750, both rates experienced a significant increase, with the birth rate rose from 30 to 40 birth per 1000 people and mortality rate increased from around 27 to 37 per 1000 people. There was stability in both fraction, before sharp declining from 1800 to 1950, which made up 20 and just above 20 for death rate and birth rate respectively. After that, death rate remained stable. However, birth rate was spiked to almost 34 per 1000 people in 2000. On the other side, population rate was started with least number at around 2. 5 millions. It was rocketed in three centuries, which constituted 50 millions in 2000 with a stabilized period between 1750 to 1850 at 10 millions.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the information about the population size and
also
compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and mortality
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rate
of England and Wales over the three decade from 1700.

Overall
, population
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rate
of England and Wales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend, whereas death and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a fluctuating trend.

The death and
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birth
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rate
followed a similar trend from 1700-1950. From 1700 to 1750, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
experienced a significant increase, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
rose from 30 to 40
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birth
per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and mortality
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rate
increased from around 27 to 37 per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. There was stability in both fraction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
sharp declining from 1800 to 1950, which made up 20 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 20 for death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
respectively
. After that, death
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rate
remained stable.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was spiked
to almost 34 per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2000.

On the other side, population
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rate
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
number at around 2. 5 millions. It
was rocketed
in three centuries, which constituted 50 millions in 2000 with a stabilized period
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1750 and 1850".
between 1750 to 1850
at 10 millions.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the population size birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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