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The line graph below shows the population size, birth and death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The line graph below shows the population size, birth and death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000.
The line graph presents the information about two factors that relate to population size in England from the year 1700 to 2000. The line chart shows that the trend of England population have grown continuously within 300 years. The population size is effected by birth rate and death rate. In the year 1700 to 1750, the birth rate raised from 26 to 40 which means more and more people were born during these year. Then the birth rate level off at 40 for 50 years. The death rate had similar trend as birth rate but the number was lower than it. So the population size at this period raised from 2 to 10 and then dropped down to 4. From 1800 to 1950, the birth rate decreased from 40 to 22 except a stay at 32 from 1850 to 1900. The graph presents a remarkable decrease for death rate from 1800 and 1850, and the gap between birth rate and death rate reached the biggest from 1850 to 1900, which the population size boomed from 10 millions to 44 millions. Although then in 1900 to 1950, both two rate decreased, the population size continuously incline sharply. From 1950 to 2000, the death rate kept at 20 while birth rate started to raise and reached at 34 in the end of 2000.
The line graph presents the information about two factors that relate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
in England from the
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year
1700 to 2000. The line chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the trend of England
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population
have grown
continuously
within 300 years.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
is effected
by
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. In the
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year
1700 to 1750, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
raised from 26 to 40 which means more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were born
during these
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year
. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
level off at 40 for 50 years. The death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
had similar trend as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the number was lower than it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
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population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
at this period raised from 2 to 10 and then
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
to 4.

From 1800 to 1950, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
decreased from 40 to 22 except a stay at 32 from 1850 to 1900. The graph presents a remarkable decrease for death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1800 to 1850"?
from 1800 and 1850
, and the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
reached the biggest from 1850 to 1900, which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
boomed from 10 millions to 44 millions. Although then in 1900 to 1950, both two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
decreased, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
continuously
incline
sharply
. From 1950 to 2000, the death
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rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
at 20 while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to raise and reached at 34 in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2000.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the population size, birth and death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
221 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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