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The graph below shows the way people of Somecountry invested their money during the years 2001 – 2006. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown. Write at least 150 words v.2

The graph below shows the way people of Somecountry invested their money during the years 2001 – 2006. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown. v. 2
The bar graph illustrates, the amount of money invested in bonds and stocks way in some country between the year of 2001 and 2006. Units are measured in billions. Overall, it has been clear from the chart that, investments are escalating over the years. However, in comparison, overwhelming majority of people in the country invested their money in stock market than bonds. In 2001, the account of share in stocks started with 210 billion, which was almost double than the amount of bonds at 100 billion. The stocks investment increased to 6 billion in 2002 and reached 216 billion by 2003. Similarly, the investments in bonds also surged in the following years such as 123 billion and 157 billion respectively. As is observed in the graph, there was a dramatic increase in the stocks investments in the next three years. In 2004, the ratio was 289 billion, and 297 billion by 2005, then the final year the amount exceeded 300 billion which is 311 billion. In contrast, there was a steady growth in the bonds investment over the period given. Such as, in 2004 (162 billion) and in 2005 ( 179 billion) while, in the finishing period, the ratio was in 188 billion.
The bar graph illustrates, the amount of money invested in bonds and stocks way in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
country between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 2001 and 2006. Units
are measured
in billions.

Overall
, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the chart that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
are escalating over the years.
However
,
in comparison
, overwhelming majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the country invested their money in stock market than bonds.

In 2001, the account of share in stocks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with 210
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, which was almost
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than the amount of bonds at 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. The
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "stocks'" or "stock's"?
stocks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
increased to 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2002 and reached 216
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
by 2003.
Similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
in bonds
also
surged in the following years such as 123
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
and 157
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
respectively
.

As
is observed
in the graph, there was a dramatic increase in the stocks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
in the
next
three years. In 2004, the ratio was 289
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, and 297
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
by 2005, then the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
the amount exceeded 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
which is 311
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.
In contrast
, there was a steady growth in the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "bonds'" or "bond's"?
bonds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. Such as, in 2004 (162
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion)
and in 2005
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
179
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion)
while, in the finishing period, the ratio was in 188
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The graph below shows the way people of Somecountry invested their money during the years 2001 – 2006. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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