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The line graph below show the population size, birth and death rate of ENgland and Whales from 1700 to 2000. v.2

The line graph below show the population size, birth and death rate of ENgland and Whales from 1700 to 2000. v. 2
The given graph depicts, the three categories ( size, birth and death rate ) were in two countries between 1700-2000. According to the graph, the population size was increased and death rate was dropped. In 1700 year was started population size. Between 1700- 1750 year was sharply increasing and in 1800 year fallen down. In 1950 year was rapidly rised. Birth rate and death rate was started in the same year. In 1700 year birth rate And death rate was similarly climbed. From 1750- 1800 year was shown remained stable. Birth rate in 1800 year was dramatically declined in 1850 year. On the other hand, in 1950 year was gone up. Death rate was step by step fallen down in 2000 year. In conclusion, these types of three categories were stated in 1700 year. The population size was increased and death rate was gone down. England and whales were represented birth rate and death rate was opposed in 1950 year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph depicts, the three categories
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
were in two countries between 1700-2000.

According to the graph, the population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
was increased
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was dropped
. In 1700
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year
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
population
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size
. Between
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
1700- 1750
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year
was
sharply
increasing and in 1800
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year
fallen down. In 1950
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year
was
rapidly
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In 1700
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
And death
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rate
was
similarly
climbed.
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "From 1750 to 1800"?
From 1750- 1800
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year
was shown
remained stable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in 1800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
was
dramatically
declined in 1850
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year
.
On the other hand
, in 1950
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year
was gone
up. Death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was step by step fallen down in 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
In conclusion
, these types of three categories
were stated
in 1700
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. The population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
was increased
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was gone
down. England and whales
were represented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was opposed
in 1950
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph below show the population size, birth and death rate of ENgland and Whales from 1700 to 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
160 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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